Car problems are always frustrating, and a few years ago, I was having a miserable time trying to fix mine. I take pride in doing things myself, and over the years, I’ve learned how to perform a variety of minor car repairs. But on this particular day, I was trying to fix a big problem: replacing the engine mount on my SUV. It is just as tricky as it sounds and can be dangerous if it isn’t done right. The engine must be raised and supported while the mount that holds it in place is switched out for a new one. And things were not going my way. I spent the whole day trying to get the old engine mount off!
By late afternoon, with no progress made, I was mad, frustrated, and exhausted. I was sitting on my garage floor in complete defeat when suddenly, someone walked in unannounced.
This person better not try to sell me something, I thought. Instead, I heard a friendly, “Hi neighbor!” It was my neighbor from across the street whom I hadn’t met yet. “I’ve seen you working on your car all day and wondered if you might need some help.” Boy did I. I readily accepted, and before I knew it, my neighbor looked at my engine mount and advised me what I needed to do to get it off. A few hours later, I was able to get the old mount off and replace it with a new one. Not only did my neighbor help me fix my car that day, but he also helped me recover my pride. And that started a friendship between us that continues to this day.
When was the last time you helped one of your employees with a personal matter? Maybe they need to adjust their hours for childcare or take some time off for a family matter. Perhaps they want to leave a little early one day to see their son play baseball.
Whatever it might be, helping your workers out when they need it is crucial to building employee loyalty. When you show your employees you care about them as a person and not just as a worker, you cultivate a healthy environment where employees are appreciative and content at work. And when your employees feel valued, they will be loyal to you. They will be there for you when you need them. They may even show up on a day off just because they want to help.
When I worked for the government, overtime pay was not permitted. Most of the time, the agency had no money for it, so we avoided it as much as possible. But sometimes, I needed people to work on weekends to investigate a crash. Sometimes I needed them to work late and finish up assignments or be in the office when they weren’t required to be there. And each time I needed employees to work overtime for no pay, they did it out of loyalty to me. You see, you often get back what you give to others.
When my neighbor helped me with my car repair, he actually helped himself. The goodwill he showed to me that day came back to him too, but not because it was owed to him.
You see, goodwill is not about tracking what someone owes you or what you owe them for the nice thing they did for you. It’s about how you view that person and your willingness to go the extra mile for them. I’ll go the extra mile to help my neighbor with projects he’s working on at his house not because I owe it to him but because I appreciate how he helped me in my time of need.
The Emotional Bank Account
The friendship I have with my neighbor is a perfect example of what author Stephen Covey identifies as an emotional bank account. In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Mr. Covey explains that this bank account represents the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship, whether between friends, spouses, or coworkers.When the trust is high, one 8 can call upon it in times of need. When the bank account is low or overdrawn, everything becomes more difficult. Tensions in the relationship or friendship increase, and every word can become a minefield.
According to Mr. Covey, small discourtesies, little unkindnesses, and minor forms of disrespect can all cause large withdrawals from your account. But on the other hand, seeking to understand someone, attending to the little things, and keeping commitments can make major deposits into this account.
Mr. Covey could not have been more correct. Even the smallest of discourtesies can significantly damage a relationship. To this day, I still remember the time when a supervisor I looked up to disrespected me. We were both at a large regional meeting, and this supervisor was leading a group discussion. The supervisor knew me, but he hadn’t even acknowledged my presence in the group. Here was his chance to make things right, I thought, as he came to each table to pass along some meeting worksheets. Instead, he looked right at me, did not say a word, handed me the sheets, and moved on. I was offended. I always acknowledged my colleagues when I saw them at meetings like this. How much effort does it take to say “Hi”? Since he could not even take the time to do that, I never trusted him again. His bank account was overdrawn with me forever.
I know this sounds petty, but it is the little things that often make or break relationships.
Whether we signed up for one or not, we all have this bank account. Each time you do something nice for your employees, like buying lunch for the office, bringing in donuts on a Friday, or saying a friendly hello every morning, you deposit into that emotional bank account. Every time you show kindness or keep a commitment, you make a deposit into this bank account. The gesture doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. In fact, most have little to no cost at all. It could be as simple as letting everybody go home early the day before a holiday. What matters here is that you show goodwill toward those you supervise.
You must do things that continually make positive deposits into this emotional bank account because the account will naturally get drawn down, and you don’t want it to go to zero or worse, a negative balance. Have you ever seen a marriage that’s run out of goodwill? Spouses start doing the bare minimum for each other. They become so comfortable in the routine that they take each other for granted. They stop investing in their emotional bank accounts. Trust levels deteriorate, and little things blow up into big things when that happens. Arguments occur over the most minor issues and the marital foundation begins to crumble.
And when the storm comes, the relationship ultimately falls apart. The bank account is overdrawn; it’s empty. There is nothing left to give on either side. Each side stopped adding to the bank account somewhere along the way. The results are terrible, yet are sadly predictable.
The same thing can happen with supervisors and employees. I’ve seen supervisors removed from their positions because their working relationships with employees became so toxic. Over the years, these supervisors continued to demand more and more of their employees without ever showing their appreciation. And guess what? The emotional bank account quickly went bankrupt. Not surprisingly, the employees became bitter. They were no longer willing to go the extra mile.
So when these offices faced challenges, there were no employees who were willing to go above and beyond to help the supervisors. The employees hated their boss for refusing to show appreciation for their work, and the boss hated the employees. After numerous employee complaints, upper management stepped in and removed the supervisors from their positions.
If you always ask, ask, ask and demand, demand, demand from your employees without ever showing your appreciation for them, you will create an atmosphere of bitterness that will make life miserable for everyone. People won’t stick around long working for a boss who doesn’t appreciate their worth. When this happens employees have one of two options: they can flee, or they can take their boss down. If you are bankrupt with goodwill towards your employees, you’ll soon find yourself with no team around you at all. Everyone will have left for better jobs, or if not, you may find yourself out of one.
You will face plenty of difficult times on the job as a leader, and having a dedicated team around you to support you and carry out your vision is essential to successfully navigating these challenges. Making this small investment will help you attract good people who are willing to go above and beyond to help you when you need it. And trust me, you absolutely will.
Why Little Things Matter
The famous UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, who won a record ten NCAA titles, said, “Little things make big things happen.” One of the little things he taught his players was how to tie their shoes properly. It sounds like a small thing, but it’s obviously important so his players don’t trip on their shoelaces all over the court. But also a good-fitting shoe, tied properly, helps prevent blisters that could keep one from playing. And the team can’t be the best unless everyone plays.
The same thing is true in any workplace. It’s the little things you do for your employees that make big things happen. These don’t have to be grandiose or expensive, but they need to come from the heart. I encourage time off during the holidays, and I cover the tough days like Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve so they can enjoy time with their family. These aren’t big or expensive things for me to do. Some of these actions are really easy. But each one makes a crucial deposit into that emotional bank account.
When employees feel valued, they are willing to go above and beyond to help you when needed. I’ve never had trouble getting folks to work overtime or on weekends. Since our agency couldn’t demand overtime work, my employees could’ve told me no—and there would have been nothing I could do about it.
Thankfully, it never got to that point because someone was always willing to step up and help me out. Showing your employees how much you appreciate their work may seem like a small thing in the moment, but it will prove to be a worthwhile investment for you.
The Easiest Way To Make A Deposit
Now let me show you one of the easiest, simplest ways to make deposits into this emotional bank account. I’ve given you some examples already, but this one has a no-excuse clause. That means there is no excuse on your part if you don’t use this. It does not have a financial cost. It does not negatively affect the job in any way. This does not cost you anything to use. But it will pay you big dividends. If you are not doing this, you are letting thousands of goodwill bank account dollars go to waste.
Are you ready for it?—then say “thank you.” Say “thank you.” Say “thank you” when your employee does a good job. Say “thank you” when your employee makes a customer happy. Say “thank you” when your employee goes the extra mile on a project that makes you look really good. Say “thank you” when your employee worked through a difficult day and did a great job. Say “thank you” when your employee covers the office on a holiday.
Do you get the point? Saying “thank you” is the best, easiest, no-cost way to deposit into the goodwill account. In fact, I find ways to say “thank you” to my employees as much as possible. They don’t have to do something outstanding; many times, it’s the little things they do. Remember, little things make big things happen. I tell them “thank you” in person for doing a good job. I put “thank you” in my emails. And my “thank you” tells them I appreciate and acknowledge their good work. Many problems could be solved with employee/supervisor relationships if someone would just say “thank you.”
And if you look close enough, there is always something to be thankful for with your employees.
As I wrote this chapter, it reminded me of the supervisors I had during my government career. I had a good working relationship with most, and I was always willing to do more for them. They said “thank you” when I did a good job. Some would buy a round of drinks when we were out on travel. Others would bring in treats when we were having a meeting. They made deposits to that emotional bank account. And I was loyal to them because they made me feel appreciated. It was not big things; it was the little things they did to say “thank you” to me that counted the most.
People don’t want to work for a boss who takes their work for granted. They want to be in an environment where their supervisor shows them that their work is valued and appreciated.
When you take time to do the little things for your employees, you cultivate a healthy work environment where people will actually want to go above and beyond. By doing this, you’ll keep employee complaints to a minimum, and you will create goodwill with them. I’ve had very few complaints from employees over the years, and I attribute this to the goodwill investments I made.
Now, showing your employees goodwill is not a guarantee that you will never have problems. But when you do, facing them with a bank account that is full versus empty is a much better position to be in.
I covered other things that make big deposits into this emotional bank account in earlier chapters of this book. I covered being honest with those you supervise, listening to employees and being patient with them. I covered treating your employees with respect and dignity, even when they are clearly wrong. Each time you do one of these items you are making a deposit into your bank account. And it’s something you should be doing every day.
Make This Investment Today
These things don’t cost you much, but they will cost you dearly if you fail to do them. Investing in an emotional bank account is crucial if you want to attract and retain high-performing, motivated employees to work for your organization.
Take the time to show your workers you appreciate them and everything they do to further your team’s mission. As the famous saying goes, people may forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Employees will remember the times your actions made them feel valued and appreciated. And when you need their help, they will be willing to go the extra mile to help you out.
The little things you do to show employees your gratitude will help you achieve better results. So go ahead and bring in donuts this week. Let everyone go home early before the next holiday. Show appreciation to your employees for the hard work they do for you. By helping your employees, you’re helping yourself.
