Take a Selfie
What do you see when you take a selfie? Obviously, you see yourself, but what else do you see? What else should you see? I’ve always been amused that the person I see in the mirror does not look exactly like the one I see when I take a selfie on my phone. Somehow it’s a bit different. I’m more critical of a selfie than the person I see in the mirror because I notice more things about myself. I can take pictures at different angles to see myself in ways I usually can’t. I can zoom in and get real close to see the flaws in my skin or how thin my hair really is, or how genuine my smile looks. I can change the lighting or the background through my phone’s seemingly endless photo settings. A selfie exposes me somewhat differently than a mirror does. It helps me spot visual flaws that I don’t usually notice. It allows me to see myself precisely as others see me, and sometimes I don’t like what it shows. Sometimes I can’t believe I look like that! Thank goodness for the delete button.
Leadership is a lot like taking a selfie. I know that might sound crazy, but let me explain. You have your personal mirror, which makes you look pretty good. But under different angles, different lighting, and different situations, you may not look as good as you think you do. You may not be as good as you think. This is how the world really sees you. Everybody can see your flaws – even if you can’t. Others see you from a multitude of angles, some that you are blind to.
And just like an actual selfie, some flaws are fixable, and some aren’t. I can’t fix the fact that I have hardly any hair on my head despite what the magic potions sold on TV say. But once I know this and accept it as a fact, I can still look great as I deal with reality. I dress professionally and keep a tight shave on my hair, so I look my best, and I have a positive attitude that exudes confidence. I compensate for the issues I see in my selfie even if I can’t change them.
To be a great leader, you need to take a selfie – an accurate self-assessment. I want to stress the word accurate. You will only be able to improve as a leader when you look at yourself with complete honesty. We fool ourselves all the time into believing things about us that aren’t true. It’s that posed look you see in the mirror versus an unflattering selfie angle. Unless we deal with an accurate assessment of our strengths and weaknesses, we’ll never become great leaders.
It’s crucial that you know your flaws and strengths and which habits or attitudes you always default to. Imagine that you need to cross a river, and you’re examining a boat that could help you get to the other side. You need to make sure the boat has no holes, especially below the waterline where water could pour in. As you examine the boat, you find a small hole. What do you do at this point? Do you toss the boat aside and try to find a new one? Maybe, if you had the time and money for a new one, but this is your only option. So you say to yourself, You know what? I’ll just patch the hole and keep an eye on it, so it doesn’t leak. The small hole in the boat doesn’t make the entire boat useless. It can be repaired so the boat can function properly. And if the first patch doesn’t work, there are always other types of patches out there that will get the job done. But if you ignore this flaw and attempt to cross the river, the boat and your life could be in serious jeopardy.
Here’s a simple fact about all leaders – they all have holes in their boats. Nobody is a perfect leader, and nobody has all of the right talents to lead. If you could imagine leaders as boats they would all have a bunch of patched-up holes in them, and some of them would be patched up multiple times. The idea of a perfect leader is a myth. Every leader has flaws that make them imperfect at what they do. You have them, and so do I. Steve Jobs of Apple had them, and so did Bill Gates of Microsoft and Jeff Bezos of Amazon. Steve Jobs was known as one of the brightest creative geniuses of his time, yet he struggled with his anger, arrogance, and relationships with employees. It cost him dearly. He nearly lost his career and his company because of it. Every great leader has a similar story to tell. Yet each one has learned how to overcome their flaws to become the best leaders they can be.
Some flaws are internal; they are a part of who we are. One of my biggest internal flaws is that I am shy. You don’t have to ask me to be quiet; I already am. It’s my nature, my default setting. When I’m in a room with a lot of people, I don’t talk much. And I usually don’t speak up in group settings. I prefer to observe everything and listen to everyone in the background. Being shy is not a sin, and it’s certainly not a crime. Some even say it’s a good trait to have. As they say, you are who you are. Since I’ve been shy since birth, why fix it? Well, eventually, I found out that being shy is not always compatible with outstanding leadership. I still received promotions from my boss since I worked hard and was good at what I did. But the more I stayed in my comfort zone of being shy, the more it became a blind spot for me. It held me back from bigger opportunities.
Then along came my new boss, D. D made things happen. He was outgoing, smart, well-liked, and had the ear of top leadership. He always found a way to lead his employees through difficult situations. One sign of a great leader is that they help others become great leaders. D noticed how my shyness held me back from opportunities that would advance my career. He knew that I couldn’t become a better leader without addressing the blind spot my shyness had become. D and I were at a meeting together when he pulled me aside and said he wanted to speak with me. What he told me changed the trajectory of my career. “Steve, you need to speak up in these meetings. People respect you, and they need to hear what you have to say.” The second he said those words, I knew he was exactly right. I had to overcome my shyness and speak.
And I did. I was later appointed as a co-chair of a national working group to re-engineer the agency’s enforcement program. The team I led developed a better performance-based process that completely changed how the agency assessed risk and assigned resources. That system is still in use today. I was placed on a team that helped institute an electronic document management system for the agency. That system is still in use today, too. I received promotions to the Division Administrator positions in Illinois and later to California. I received recognition for my efforts at national award ceremonies from my agency and the Department of Transportation. I received dozens of superior ratings that highlighted my accomplishments and rewarded me financially. I became a great public presenter and gave many presentations to the trucking industry, the public, state officials, and leadership, and colleagues in my agency. In summary, I overcame my shyness and succeeded beyond my dreams. Overcoming my shyness opened up a world of possibilities for me.
Now wait a minute, you might be saying. A few paragraphs ago, you said you were still shy! I am. But I have learned how to put my shyness aside when I’m at work. And it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. All I had to do was be willing to change, and I did. I am still shy and always will be, but I have learned how to manage my shyness in professional settings to be the best leader I can be. Just like the hole in the boat that needs to be patched before it can successfully cross a river, I’ve fixed this, and I keep an eye on it. I adjust when I see that I may be leaning back into my shyness too much.
To be a great leader, you need to know your internal flaws. Challenge yourself to be brutally honest. What are your innate personality traits, and how do these traits interact with others? What is your default setting? Are you a people person or shy like me? These are essential questions to ask yourself as you begin your leadership journey. Your style – the real you – is the starting point, but you may need to work on some aspects here and there and overcome your weaknesses to become the leader you want to be.
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While some flaws – like my shyness – are internal, others are external. Maybe you are not the best writer or presenter. Perhaps you don’t have the analytical skills you need to track progress on your goals or to tackle a big project at work. These flaws are not who you are, but they are nonetheless holes in your boat that can prevent you from reaching your full potential. Often all you need to overcome these external flaws is more education, technical skills, or training in a particular subject. For many years I devoted time each week to read up on various topics to help me in my job. If I felt like I was falling behind in communicating effectively or managing my priorities, I would consult books, online articles, and reference materials to sharpen my sword. When I needed more technical knowledge about self-driving vehicles and their potential effect on my work with the trucking industry, I studied and learned about the Global Positioning Satellite system and how it worked. I did these things because I identified deficiencies in my job knowledge that I knew I had to address to succeed.
You have a leadership flaw that’s hindering you from achieving your best results. It could be that you are too loud and don’t listen to others enough. It might be arrogance, impatience, or lack of communication skills. Whatever your flaw is, you must first spend time identifying it and then take steps to correct it. If you need stronger writing skills, read up on the elements of business writing. If you lack effective public speaking skills, practice more or take a class. If your flaw is part of your personality, learn how to make it work for you and not against you. If you are generally loud and outgoing, practice being quiet and listening to others more. If you usually are quiet and shy like I am, practice being more talkative and outgoing. Overcoming your weaknesses is a critical piece of the foundation you need to lead effectively. Don’t blow by this quickly. Take your time and commit to the process.
I’ve heard people say countless times, “Well, this is just who I am, and I can’t change.” What they are really saying is that they don’t want to change. Throughout my career, I’ve noticed that those who don’t address their obvious flaws eventually hit a brick wall. It reduces their ability to progress further in their career. They die on the vine. And then that flaw presents itself during a big presentation or in front of senior staff, and they are permanently scarred by it.
If you want to be an effective leader and reach your full potential, you have no choice – you must fix the holes in your boat. Addressing your flaws – internal or external – is more a matter of will than ability. You have what it takes to overcome your flaws. All you have to do now is “take a selfie,” an accurate self-assessment of yourself that will help you locate and address the shortcomings that others around you already see.
Many products on the market will help you do this. Tools such as 360-degree feedback assessments can provide you with valuable input from your peers, co-workers, and managers. Other tools such as the Myers-Briggs Test assesses your personality type and help you understand more about who you are and how you approach decisions. Similarly, the University of Southern California’s Leadership Style Self-Assessment tool helps you understand your leadership style and how it impacts your performance in the office. The Institute for Health and Human Potential provides an Emotional Intelligence Assessment that helps you determine how your ability to perceive emotions affects your ability to manage others in the workplace. These are just a tiny sample of the wide variety of tools available to you as a leader.
Years ago, a friend named Frank took a 360-degree feedback survey with his employees and was shocked by the results. He discovered that some of them didn’t think he was an effective communicator. He had supervised these employees for quite some time and thought he had a great working relationship with all of them. Weeks later, he was still stunned and upset that his employees had somehow betrayed him. He didn’t see the flaws in his communication skills, but everyone else around him did. The survey results were an eye-opener for him and helped him address a weakness he never knew he had.
You may be upset with the results of your self-assessment. It hurts when others point out a flaw you didn’t think you had. It’s easy to react with anger, and shock like my friend did, but remember that your peers, coworkers, and supervisors are only trying to help you. The holes they point out to you will sink your boat if you don’t fix them. Someday you will thank them for helping you keep your boat afloat. Thank goodness for those around us who are honest enough to share feedback in a positive way! While it may hurt at first, this is a necessary step in the process, and you will see the value of it as long as you keep a positive attitude.
If these assessment tools do not fit your situation or finances, then good old-fashioned talking with friends, colleagues, and others who know you well is the best option. As good and helpful as these assessment tools can be, my best insights came from people I worked with, like my old boss D. My coworkers knew my flaws and were kind enough to share them with me in positive, uplifting ways. I always prefer this improvement method and have personally grown more from it than any other assessment tool. Like D, I provide my feedback to other developing leaders so they can learn and grow in their professional development.
Don’t be afraid to confront your internal and external flaws head-on. It’s the only way you will become a better leader and help those around you achieve great results. Critically assess the information others provide you with an open mind that is always looking for ways to improve. Above all else, make a habit of evaluating your skills routinely. This isn’t something you can do once and be done with. You may have fixed the holes in your boat years ago, but more may have developed in your blind spot. Keep on the lookout for them, keep fixing them, keep taking your selfies. Now, it’s time to move on and get to work.